Don't Let People Change Your Emotional Channel...Take the Remote Back! July 06 2015
We can sometimes have the best weekend and come into work smiling, but then we come across that one person who had a lousy weekend and their angry, bitter or harsh words sour our disposition. Now we're sad, too! Why? We just ate a ton of barbecue and did the line dance! We were just dancing and having fun at the party and ate all that fruit salad!
Read these top tips to help you stay centered and take your remote back - People don't have and shouldn't have authority over your emotions.
The Mood Swinger: When you see the office grump or if you get a call from that one friend or family member who you know might try to bring you down, catch the swing and stop it. Sometimes people can swing back and forth going from one mood to the next, but in order for you to deal with them, when you see them coming, stop in your tracks and brace yourself. It's like walking up to a swing that's in motion. If you step right up, you'll get knocked out, but if you brace yourself and position your arms to catch the swing, you can stop it. That means, when they start talking, if it's negative, derogatory or something meant to bring you down, reject it, bring the conversation to a stop and move on. Don't let them see you smile too much when you get away either or they might hunt you down again...
That Seemingly Helpless Bi-Polar, Passive Aggressive One - You're probably sitting right next to her: Sometimes they will fake a crisis to get you to do all the work and take the burden off of them. Then they poke fun at you because you are now under a ton of stress. Sometimes it's hard to catch this Stealth Stealer of All Things Happy until the tables are turned and you're miserable - then when you see that sly smile you know you've been duped! Turn the tables back - not in a vindictive way, but a way that says "Here's your stuff back." If it's work, pick up the whole pile and hand it back and apologize profusely while you find another project to work on that won't take up hours of your time - that way, you're not lying, you won't be under so much intense pressure, and you can control the pace of your work. Also make sure you don't commit yourself to more than you can take on in the future. You don't need to be a People Pleaser or a Pushover. You can also offer a diplomatic approach where you take one project from the stack they have and help them with one item. If they complain, let them. You helped. The rest is their responsibility and you have your own work to do...right? Celebrate this victory with a small piece of candy!
The Come Sit With Me Trap: Sometimes people will try to bring you down by their moods. You might not see it at first because they can be friendly, but what happens is they want to sap you of your energy and time by focusing the attention on them. Misery loves company, so the longer you sit with them, the more you will be doing, well... less. Keep this in mind because if you have an active lifestyle and you don't have time to sit for hours at a time, just let the person know, "I've only got a few minutes," and stick to that. Sometimes people become sedentary and while you might think you can motivate them to change, they don't want change, they want an enabler who can share in doing nothing and feeling miserable. Pray for people when they get like this because you never want to see someone in a rut, and sometimes people refuse to leave because they are comfortable here. While it might be okay for them, you have work to do, so get up and get back to it.
By keeping a safe distance from people - emotionally, who may want to impose their mood swings on you or take advantage of you, you can actually help people more. You're showing that you're not a pushover in subtle ways, and also letting people know that you will help - within reason. Don't let people change your emotional channel or use you. Take your emotional remote back and use your power to to keep your peace and be a blessing to others! And get more chocolate...To God be the Glory!
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