Top 25 Gifts Not to Get Dad for Father's Day
Love Tim Hawkins or memes? Then you'll love these gifts not to get dad. From the Potty Putty Buddy to Talking TP, if you want your lawn mowed this year, and you don't want your grilled steaks burnt like jerky, never buy these gifts for Father's Day...
- The Ear Wax Remover and Ear Hair Shaver...Not sure why Dad doesn't just read the instructions. He keeps waving it and saying, "No, pull my finger. Seriously."
2. The Goatee Shaver: Even if it is stainless steel and error-proof, how is dad supposed to hold onto it? With his teeth? Great to know it helps with TMJ...
3. The Time Saving Hot Dog Cutter...Because when you eat gourmet style, these make perfect horse divers.....
4. The Man Girdle...Total Length indicates how long you can hold your breath and your stomach before passing out....
5. Patio and Garage Self Sweeping Shoes: Not to be confused with last year's best seller, the Snow Plow Shoe shown above. I know, the commercial looked so funny, right? You knew I’d get a kick out of it, right? Where’s the receipt?
6. Cowboy Sandals: In case your calves are too hot, sweat can gently escape at your ankles. Again, sweat can escape at your ankles. Lawsuit pending if you two-step and end up on the floor...
7. The Potty Putty Buddy with Miniature Club and a sign that indicates game is in play. Just watch out for that water hazard...
8. Man Jeggings: Ask the TSA agent. Just ask them.. Go ahead. We dare you..."Does it look like I have a wallet, jewelry, a billfold or change in my pockets?"
9. The Daddy Saddle or Daddle: Safe for ages...well, you decide if you think it's safe. Safety knee pads not included. Advil and Aleve sold separately.
10. The Pea Shaped Ice Cube Maker: Drop one of those bad boys in your drink and you might not have a drink left. Hence the glass half full, or empty. Reaction you were hoping for, “Wow, that’s great, now I can fill my glass up.” Reaction you got instead, “So that's what hail looks like.”
11. The Plastic Grenade Drinking Flask with Easy to Carry Key Chain Attachment. Yes, let the TSA Agent know that you didn't bring a plastic bottle of water to the airport to dump at the checkpoint because you're sporting this BPA free beauty and see how far you get. No need to worry if your flight is delayed. You'll be at the tarmac for quite a while...and on the 6 O'Clock News...and on David Muir...
12. The Guy Fieri Hair Hat: So you can walk in any diner, drive-in or dive and sample all the fixins.
13. Hair Spray in a Can: Because the Guy Fieri Hat just isn't realistic enough especially when you're standing over that hot grill flippin' burgers...
Seriously?
14. 6-Pack Ab Carrier: Because it was on sale and so was the 6-pack...Duh?
15. The Finding Nemo Costume: Just in time for the new Dory Movie because your daughter said you would "Look really great, Daddy," while your colleagues think you look like an Oompha Loompa or George Hamilton.
16. The Gui Fieri Summer Breeze Look: It was a 2-for-1 deal. Did we mention that? Watch the 3am Informmercial for more information...
17. The Fish Eye Camera: Because if you catch a fish, you should strap a piece of expensive equipment to it and throw it back in the water so you can see other fish laughing at you.
18. The Talking TP Roll: Because if you're going to propose this June, why not do it in style? If she doesn't flush at all, listen for her starting her car as she races out the door...
19. The iArm Forearm Mount...Because...You need to stream Netflix just in case they come out with something from 2016...or from 2015...or 2014...
20. The Sweat-Heart Sweet Shirt... Oh my gosh! She flushed once for yes!
21. Dad Body Spanx...Because know one knows what it's like to be a sad man behind blue eyes...or to dress up like Batman, or Antman for that matter...
22. The Beer Belly...Duh? They named it. We didn't. Kind of concerned that the body heat might turn that pouch into a belly full of warm beer...Guess that's the intended goal, right?
23. The Dad Hammock: We didn't show it because it's no longer on sale. Short Version: Dad sets up hammock. Dad cranks up Jimmy Buffett. Dad falls asleep. Dad wakes up and goes in house shocked at the burgundy-looking lobster in the mirror. Dad is now angry he didn't save the receipt. Dad fights at Walmart. News at 11...
24. The Dad Calendar: Hey, if your mom can send sexy pics to dad...Afterthought, He's got an awful lot of beer he's trying to sneak into the stadium...
25. The Dad Branding Iron: Because dad thought it was a great idea to get one for mom on Mother's Day until he realized that upside down it read "Wow" and that's all she kept saying, "I'd love the trash to be put out, wow. "I'd love the lawn to be mowed, wow."
Ultimately, whatever you end up getting for Dad, just let him know you care! Shop for Father's Day and take 50% off your order and get FREE graphic design at God-Driven-Designs.com. Use Code: HappyDad-50 at checkout.
